Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
Robin Williams

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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
Yakov Smirnoff

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The journey is simple from the fragmented many to the individual one, to the cosmic all. Live life, love life, accept life with laughter and joy.
Osho

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I mean, I find things that happened in real life to be the funniest - things that you observe instead of crazy abstract things, you know.
Jonah Hill

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A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

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Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Peter Ustinov

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I haven't seen a spider around the house in days. What the fuck are they planning ?
Robin Williams

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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen

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Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
Zach Galifianakis

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I love tiny, plastic realistic food magnets. I don't know why. They're hilarious.
Amy Lee

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Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.
Susan Sontag

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